Human sexuality is complex—so you can’t judge someone’s emotional well-being just by their physical responses. Especially nowadays, with the pressures of work and daily life, it’s completely normal for desire to fluctuate or even feel fleeting.

In fact, very few people are truly “sexually indifferent.” More often, it’s like having a foot on both the gas and the brake:

Gas pedal = Libido accelerator (controls how sensitive we are to sexual stimuli)

Brake pedal = Libido inhibitor (controls how sensitive we are to external environment and internal emotions)

These two systems run constantly, mostly beneath our conscious awareness. Anything you hear, see, smell, feel, or think can make your brain slam on the brakes—and just like that, desire disappears.

So, become a detective of your own desire and try to identify what’s causing you to unconsciously hit the brakes. Some common culprits include:

Worrying about pregnancy or STIs

Feeling self-conscious about body image

Noticing an unpleasant odor from your partner

Recent arguments or tension

Someone talking loudly in the next room

Fear of pain during sex

Anxiety about reaching orgasm

Past negative sexual experiences

Work stress or personal troubles

…and more

The key to moving away from “low libido” is to boost your sensitivity to sexual stimuli—expand your sexual script, explore your senses, and nurture healthy intimacy. At the same time, identify and minimize those “brake triggers” that shut desire down.

Every woman has her own unique list of gas pedals and brakes. The more you understand yourself, the better equipped you’ll be to address issues as they arise—and keep your desire firing on all cylinders.