First, we need to know: The clitoris is the only female organ designed solely for sexual pleasure, not the vagina. If you still find it hard to reach orgasm after understanding and exploring the clitoris, the following common reasons might be the cause:
Interrupted by the urge to pee
Before sex, empty your bladder so you can focus better on pleasure. When the bladder is full, especially for those unfamiliar with orgasm sensations, the mind keeps thinking, “Should I stop and go to the bathroom?” or fearing leaking urine, making it hard to concentrate on enjoyment. Remember, the brain plays a crucial role in reaching orgasm.
If you have already emptied your bladder but still feel the urge during sex, try changing positions. Sometimes the angle presses on the bladder, causing that sensation.
Interrupted by pain
Women often feel pain if their partner skips foreplay, lacks skill, the session lasts too long, or if they’ve had painful intercourse before. Fear of pain reduces arousal, leading to insufficient natural lubrication and causing discomfort during sex. The easiest way to reduce pain is to prepare lubricant, play relaxing music, use aromatherapy, or try external vulva massage.
Interrupted by roughness
Many imitate porn, thinking that pounding hard and fast will make women orgasm, even simultaneously. In reality, a slow and gradual rhythm builds excitement more effectively for women. Also, not focusing solely on orgasm but emphasizing emotional connection makes orgasms easier to achieve!
No habit of masturbation
You need to first understand your sensitive spots, your preferred touch, pressure, and angles to guide your partner in helping you reach orgasm. The more you know your body, the easier it is to climax during sex. Don’t be shy about sharing your “body code” if you want your partner’s help!
Not engaging pelvic floor muscles
The condition of the pelvic floor muscles greatly affects orgasm. When your brain is highly aroused but just a little short of orgasm, a subconscious squeeze of the pelvic floor muscles can bring you over the edge! Therefore, it’s important to be aware of your pelvic floor health and learn how to engage and exercise those muscles.
Personality & lack of sexual knowledge
Education, personality, and limited sex knowledge can also significantly impact orgasm. For example, if you’re too tense in bed, thinking you only need to lie still, or fear losing control after orgasm, or believe that being passive and avoiding talking about sex is how it should be.
If you or your partner are like this, don’t be discouraged. What you both need now is praise, encouragement, and guidance. Understand that sex is an activity of mutual love and intimacy—only when both partners fully engage can it be truly enjoyable!